You can have any colour you like, as long as it's black.

2011-11-05T06:08:00.005+08:00

"please be careful, the plate's hot!" the waiter says as he leaves the baked pasta in front of you.

you make the mental note that the plate's hot. after all, it probably just came out of the oven and the top layer of cheese is still bubbling. it must be scorching. don't touch it.

but somehow, some sort of twisted curiosity drove your fingers towards the edges of the plate.

"is it really? i mean, i can feel the heat from here radiating and it is sizzling but really?"

your fingers lost control. like a reflex it went closer and closer. your heart racing with excitement. like watching a horror when the suspense music plays and you just know a ghost is gonna show up somewhere, but where? under the table? behind the door?

you just have to find out for yourself don't you.

*dum dum dum dum dum dum*

****!

yes it is bloody hot. you were warned but refused to comply. your stubborn head (or in this case, fingertips) just needs to feel it.

so what are you left with? the validation and looking like a fool with a burnt finger in the restaurant.

but somehow, after a few times, you listen. the 'few times' will have to depend on how painful the contact was, though. you dont even need to be told when you start looking out for signs. you might even go to the extent of warning others DO. NOT. GO. NEAR. IT.

hey you're now the expert.

but you need to get burnt. because that's how it works.

*shrugs*

2011-10-16T18:33:00.001+08:00

"that's crazy. which couple does that."

"us."

-

"i love you. it's now morning and i'm sober so i mean it."

why pretending to be okay does not work.

2011-05-23T12:26:00.001+08:00

假如明天将消失了，

2011-04-21T01:27:00.002+08:00

趁现在我爱着，只想记得，被你抱着，温热的感受

it seems awesome!

2011-02-10T01:15:00.001+08:00

so jealous of everyone who went.

so it was some 50, 60 years ago

2011-02-09T01:15:00.003+08:00

this young lady met this young man in a malaysian newspaper publishing company...

now look what you've done, Mr and Mrs Shia. ;)

can you hear me?

2011-02-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

can you?

holy macaroni

2011-01-31T12:19:00.000+08:00

immaculate.

so why don't we go

2011-01-29T18:35:00.001+08:00

somewhere only we know

cute little fake couple

2011-01-29T10:54:00.001+08:00

hiak hiak hiak

2011-01-16T09:11:00.001+08:00

sunday morning; bloodshot eyes; alcohol aftertaste. i wish you (all) well. just let them eat cake.

2011-01-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

life is fragile. i hope you are okay. you will be. i am always here.

oh sandy

2010-12-28T19:57:00.001+08:00

"So… if I can take this moment to thank Helga B... for reminding her daughters that there's no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love."

remember, do you remember the times of your life?

2010-12-27T23:14:00.001+08:00

memories are time that you borrow, to spend when you get to tomorrow.

2010-12-21T05:21:00.000+08:00

happy birthday miss li huibin aka yishun! the lady who has brought me to see things and more. :)

2010-12-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

i'm serious about the wayfarers! cause it covers half my face and you know anything that covers my face will make me look better.

fancy camera, fancy pants

2010-12-04T14:21:00.023+08:00

2010-09-07T11:58:00.002+08:00

i realize lots of writers like using short paragraphs for that theatrical effect or simply to just reinstate a certain topic they are discussing.

like this.

and there also lots of cynics who can't seem to write any better pointing out little things like that. don't know for what also.

like me.

anyway if i were to write a transcript of what say throughout the day it will go something like:

"cough x 4590859684590684"

im dying and cough syrup just DONT CUT IT ANYMORE helpppppp. :(

21st

2010-05-29T20:21:00.001+08:00

no fancy party. just dinner with the cliques. and dinner with family on the actual day. and hk! :)

2010-01-24T18:50:00.002+08:00

my 21st is coming! actually its still far away, in june. but im kiasu like that and have been secretly planning the party in my head. but the more i think about the more troubled i get, mainly because...

venue: no chalet. must be pretty.
crowd: what if no one comes. what if too many people come. family? just friends?
food: cater? nice? buffet? expensive?
entertainment: no games definitely. how are people gonna keep themselves entertained???
alcohol: oh a must.

k going to die.

also am announcing now am going to try out for air steward after ord. lets see if this still appeals to me 20 months later.

everyone

2010-01-09T20:56:00.003+08:00

everyone has stories to tell,

skills to teach,

perspectives to share.

everyone is riveting.

everyone is fascinating.

everyone deserves your attention.

everyone needs to be loved.

this is a sub project of project get fucking hot.

2010-01-03T10:41:00.003+08:00

project lose-10-kg-in-one-month starts today. RIGHT NOW.

thinking about the younger years

2010-01-01T18:31:00.002+08:00

a recap of 2009

january - last sem of school
february - end of poly life
march - first wedding in the family in a long time
april - unemployed, had amazing picnic
may - first funeral in the family i attended in a long time
june - birthday, was so caught up with you
july - still unemployed, still caught up with you
august - employed, most challenging thing ever done
september - enlisted, oh boy
october - customer service
november - settled down
december - too much alcohol

can i be excused from NS if im mildly retarded?

2009-12-24T01:54:00.007+08:00

seriously.

look who dropped by!

2009-11-24T08:57:00.001+08:00

so happy i could die

2009-11-20T22:21:00.003+08:00

thursday morning is going to see me waking up before dawn and preparing myself to leave the house at 6.30. following that i will catch the bus, and then the train to changi airport. if im early, i will get some starbucks and have a cigg at the smoking area. and then...

and then...

:)

please fill in your preferred medium of transport. thank you.

2009-11-20T22:00:00.018+08:00

ur Godga is an awesome Godga who reiiiiigns on heaven on earth with wissssdowm power and love our Godga is an awesome Godga

2009-11-16T20:41:00.007+08:00

I'm sorry but britney who?

snippets

2009-11-14T03:01:00.003+08:00

1. i'm down with a throat infection which earned me 2 days mc and lots of sleep. i can't swallow with cringing a little but it's getting better at least.

2. i need a club that plays only gaga. all the fame monster songs are so good. bad romance, dance in the dark, telephone. oh my my ears just orgasmed.

3. starting today i will use very good products on my face. and hopefully skin will turn out better. this is not even vanity anymore. the condition of my skin is just disgraceful and morally wrong. come on cliniques, kiehl's, mario badescu, work your magic please.

4. it's saturday already. will be quite a long day if i cant take it. but i can't wait to meet everyone!

5. thats about it. medication's kicking in. good night world.

that boy, he just wants to have fun

oh you can just look at the pictures. no relation to the text anyway.

2009-11-01T20:34:00.016+08:00

a) i havent been updating this place properly have i? apart from the occasional picture that makes no sense to anyone other than myself. but i'm pretty free now (sunday night, what you expect) so here here.

b) army is alright. before anyone gives me shit let me just say that thank god i am in pes e. i can't imagine myself being anywhere else. and i've really gained mad respect for every single guy out there that went through the normal bmt. if i were in there i probably would have died/cried every night/go crazy.

so am currently a "customer service officer" in cmpb. sounds pretty fancy isn't it. 8 to 5.30, business casual (no uniform, like IBM days), narrow and easy job scope. nothing much to complain about seriously.

c) enough of army talk. so today i realise that my macbook has been with me since april 2007. 2 and a half years and this baby right here has never ever failed me. just this afternoon it downloaded an episode of ugly betty at 500kbps. 500! love of my life, this machine. sorry i dropped you on multiple occasions.

d) i didn't touch alcohol this week. for the WHOLE WEEK despite it being halloween and all. i'm a grown up now. i don't need to get myself wasted every single weekend and spend a shitload on drinks that will end up in the toilet bowl/down the drain/in a bag/all over my shirt.

e) i really need to lose weight. my bmi is not within the healthy range apparently. fuck lah. nothing like having a machine to confirm you are fat huh. bloody cheebye.

f) maybe i will join a gym! near cmpb! though my pay is only 420 and i can do nothing with it.

g) i miss you, you, you and you!

HELLO BEE MARRY MEE

2009-11-01T10:30:00.005+08:00

"HE DOESN'T LIKE SAYING GOODBYES"

2009-10-27T20:36:00.003+08:00

2009-10-04T05:45:00.004+08:00

it's 5.44 in the morning and i'm here without enough alcohol to get myself pissed to an acceptable level and listening to chanelle and pamela talk about "friends with benefits", "happenings" and "flings". good god the lesbians and their drama. i need more alcohol. brb.

September 2009

2009-09-20T23:30:00.007+08:00

farewell dinner with 1B05

september 2009 has been a fascinating month. never in my life have i thought a short period like this could broaden my horizons so much. it seems like everybody's changed, probably due to the alteration of both my perspective of the environment around me and introspection. i can't really say i'm a totally different person now because seriously, within such a short period? that's gibberish. but much enlightenment have fallen upon me and i really really really appreciate it.

first time having lucky plaza's indian food with ivan, germaine and mabel

first week saw the ending of my 5-week stint at RE. my first office job other than internship. pressurizing? kind of, especially when you're new. underpaid? somewhat. challenging? depends on how motivated you are/want to be. fruitful? definitely.

nope, not drunk yet.

i saw how fast paced and competitive a working environment can be. i saw how the economy downturn has affected people. REAL people with mouths to feed, as opposed to figures reported in straits times. i saw people cracking under pressure and forced to pick themselves up. i saw people making foolish decisions and pigeon holed. i saw how shallow the society is, the intolerance certain aspects which can't be helped. i saw big cats having power trips, having power and knowing it. i saw the importance of education and positive attitude. i saw desperation, unwillingness, irresponsibility.

with yvonne babe, on diana's birthday.

but most of all, i saw kindness, appreciation, generosity. big shouts to the team. here's hoping my incompetence and carelessness did not cause much hinderance to the operations of the team. everyone in the office is really awesome and taught me a lot, especially janice, meixiu and mark! so glad to have worked under you guys and if i could, i would have worked longer. but... oh well. but still, much much much gratitude.

what's next? oh. national service. adoringly known as NS.

ah i'm losing focus. that will be the next post. not really loving the direction (of the texts) of this post anyway. too solemn when the pictures are mainly smiley.

till then.

feel my heartbeat, truly to the beat, love the symphony.

2009-08-29T16:55:00.001+08:00

When i get my pay...

2009-08-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

... i'm gonna change my passport
... get a new television for mummy
... get black bedsheets
... paint my room grey
... get brown shoes
... get more ties
... save up for overseas trip (perth!)
... eat good food
... sign up for gym membership

i'm making it seem like my pay is $239230948. but no. :(

THINGS TO DO BEFORE WORK STARTS (3RD AUGUST)

2009-07-28T06:58:00.000+08:00

as most of you people might know, i've been bumming for almost 5 months (eat, sleep, play, shit, repeat) and still have not received any news regarding my enlistment. so i've decided to get a job to make myself look busy and earn brownie points in front of my family. initially it was all about hunting for sales jobs at lv, ferragamo, etc. but for some reason, my resume was totally ignored. :( i know i don't really have any experience but STILL, i will make an awesome sales associate okay? it's your loss frenchies, not mine. but i digress.

so have decided to be practical and accept the job offer i got! working as a recruitment consultant. yup (most) 1B05 people, i'm joining your industry! feeling a little apprehensive to be quite honest. will it be IBM all over again (i hope so, i acted as though my dad owns the company), or is it going to be worse?

well well. shall stay positive, as taught by youknowwho. and focus on the pros of the job, mostly being: it's quite an established company, which is going to make my resume fancier. and also i get to wear formal clothes again! it's so empowering you know, when donned a crisp white shirt, flat front pants, leather shoes, matching belt, a trendy tie, and a good bag. it just seems like a good start of the day, getting dressed up like that.

anyho, the main purpose of this post is to act as a checklist of the things that needs to be done for the next 6 days until work starts. for i think my life will really really be gone the minute i step into the office (carrying a venti starbucks cup, maybe. kekeke)

1. reach 70kg. alright it's time to come clean. all those bumming, bingeing and irregular sleeping pattern have added some extra weight on me. so far i took around a week to lose 1.5kg. so hopefully this carries on.

2. do house chores. that includes making own room seem less like a war zone. it's terrible. i'm always stepping on bags, underwear etc. the worst is this morning's belt buckle. fuck.

3. get drunk. twice at most. preferably asap. not cool to start work hangover-ing.

4. spend as much time at home as possible. i'm a homely boy. remember?

i think that's for now. feeling quite excited! and scared. arg i hate being a gemini. OUT.

2009-07-13T14:50:00.001+08:00

miss you already. :(

2009-07-09T13:08:00.014+08:00

~*~SEXY~*~

~*~BEAUTIFUL~*~

~*~GORGEOUS~*~

~*~ETC~*~

that's all. thank you for your time:

2009-07-08T15:53:00.055+08:00

GET A JOB, ALVIN

how about no? i've been busy okay? here are the photographic evidences of some events happened in june.

PASSPORT
changed passport photo to this. i think it's the best passport photo i've ever taken. despite the unsymmetrical face.

but seriously, any photo is better than this monstrosity.

and just because i can.

please let me indulge in narcissism for a second. hehehe.

20TH 16TH BIRTHDAY WITH 1B05
just a normal bunch of 16 year olds fooling around. c:

come aboard the ship!

wtf.

ah. <3

HL's camera really (Y)

i admit i really love the smell. it makes me happy you know? really! you guys are damn awesome lah.

20TH 16TH BIRTHDAY WITH VGDAT
黄腔开不停

酒鸡鸡酒鸡酒酒鸡酒鸡鸡酒

满满的爱 c:

SKYPE
i love it because i can see jenny sophian. but now she's back! so no use of this fancy thing. for now.

WHO'S BACK FROM NYNY?
<3

coke in the morning cause that's how i roll.

srsly.

was this worth the wait? hell yes.

US of A LOOT.
jazwheeeeeeeeel why you so fucking awesome c:

oh chris pine reads ny times too okay? we are soul mates.

"this morning?"

BABY SITTING
so many lessons so little time to play. i love (adorable) kids.

everyone loves mcs.

and good chicken rice.

adorable and staying in a big house? damn some kids just have everything.

i need to take more pictures. i need a camera!

2009-07-08T10:55:00.001+08:00

yay can upload pictures again! now is about finding the mood to blog.

2009-07-02T04:31:00.001+08:00

to do list for the next 24 hours: (in order)

run
bathe
computer
resist breakfast food
nap
lunch with mum
to hougang
aunt's place
home, maybe another nap
dinner with bbys
drink
club

hot damn.

2009-06-22T03:43:00.008+08:00

HAIR - 头发

_|_

thank god for gatsby. but it's too much effort.

so might as well. but not all the time right.

am going to cut it short short short like usual the day after tomorrow. one less thing to get vexed about.

birthday came and went. i am 20 years young now. thank you so much for all the wishes/presents/company. you guys are beyond awesome and made me feel so so so so loved. proper update soon. c:

2009-06-11T00:56:00.005+08:00

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE IT c:

2009-06-10T16:32:00.001+08:00

im so excited for the dinner later with the ~dancers~ kekekeke

just came back from dental. very tired now. think will take a nap.

what to wear?

i cant find my hair wax.

very frustrating.

think will cancel.

siao ah!

2009-06-09T19:31:00.017+08:00

FAMILY & FRIENDS

我爱SUNDAY点心BRUNCH

小弟

dexter's photography.

TRI-TRI-TRINITY
fish and co glass house: first row seats to witness a proposal.

1 shot, 2 shots, 3 shots, floor.

fellatio, not.

CRAVINGS
satisfy them.

2009-06-08T14:46:00.004+08:00

used to think people who does wishlists are quite pompous and thick skinned (still think so actually), but eileen jie said it's fine and makes life easier. so here you go.

black bedsheets, burberry brit, ysl l'homme
ipod nano armband, hermes belt (a good fake HA!), bracelet, watch etc
i-D magazine, V magazine, underwear
absolut masquerade, son dambi and park gahee (2 on right), and YOU

and most importantly, birthday wishes (have a heart come on). or anything else really. use your creativity.

also jazwheel hid something in my letter box that am only supposed to open on the 15th. so excited!

2009-06-04T11:46:00.013+08:00

公公婆婆的黑白照片

靓仔靓女

2009-06-02T17:13:00.035+08:00

EAT DRINK PLAY FUN

photos. mostly from the second half of may i think. i can't remember. my mental retardation is slowly taking over.

KK

MARMALADE PANTRY

EILEEN'S 23RD

huiling's phone has the best camera. REALLY.

round cake

beer tower

QU HONG XIN CHI DIAN XIN

deadpan no?

<3

my squirtle faster come back alright? (referring to you jenny bby!)

GRADUATION

robe: kristin's. place: xinwang. world: my stage. :)

2009-06-02T11:03:00.017+08:00

阿太

that's how my generation is supposed to address my great grandmother. but somehow we just call her 阿婆, which means grandma in cantonese. she's cool with it though, in fact everyone is.

we mourned her departure.

we celebrated her life.

kids, grandkids, greatgrandkids.

life goes on. might be hard. but it has to.

justin + dexter

rule the world, why don't you? :)

2009-05-27T03:43:00.003+08:00

i was sleeping when yevon just barged into my room, woke me up and told me she just got a phone call saying that our great grandmother who resides in malaysia, only has 10 minutes left.

i can't say this is a total shock to me. the last time i went in for my uncle's wedding she was so frail she couldnt even attend the ceremony. but still, this is a moment which everyone sees coming, but all dreading it.

we're not very close, my great grandmother and i, due to the distance. i only see her once in a while but it was always very very nice meeting her. she has a tiny frame, and always wears a smile on her face whenever she sees us. i remembered she once just phone my mum out of the blue and talked. pretty pleasant surprise for my mum.

the last time i saw her was in the hospital. she couldn't recognise me initially, until my uncle told her i'm ah boy. immediately she started showing concern, asking about my studies, army enlistment, weight loss etc.

she was chatty and animated. it was hard to tell that she suffered a heart attack just a couple days ago.

now she leaves us. to a much better place. i hope she is still wearing that smile on her face. you will right, ah po?

but what is affecting me more on the contrary, is the thought of how a 76 year old woman is dealing with the loss of her 95 year old mother.

my grandmother. she is known for being the fragile one. her waterworks break at anything remotely sad. so when i realised she came home from my aunt's place i went next door to see how she's doing.

she was in the living room. taking to yevon about what to prepare for the urgent trip to KL. she seemed fine, strangely fine.

"你ok吗?", i started.

"ok啦...", she answered without much hesitation and diverted her attention back to the television.

i stayed and talked about the trip for a little more. she appeared calm too, telling me what will go on during the funeral. and i went back home after that.

it was much later when i decided to drop by next door. the kitchen lights were still on. and she was pacing around rearranging the dried spices and herbs. 1 am, i saw the clock.

"你还不睡啊? 明天不是很早要起来?"

"睡不着leh..." she said while putting the chinese herbs back neatly into the cupboard.

she wasn't "ok". she still isn't "ok".

mummy came home from work shortly after. she's definitely in a bad mood, speaking from experience of living with her for 20 years.

"you ok not?", i repeated the question to her.

"nope." and she went to bathe.

again, how to comfort a 43 year old woman who just lost her grandmother is not my forte. so i decided to leave her alone. asking her to sleep early because we have to wake up in a couple hours' time.

she came into my room 20 minutes later. shoved me the copy of today's mypaper. told me she was just reading that this morning, and left.

the title of the article reads: 阿嬷,走进记忆长廊...

she's not coping well. both of them are not. i can't imagine what will happen tomorrow afternoon when they see my great grandmother.

it feels like crap when there's nothing much i can do except lending them my shoulders when they need someone to cry on. i hope i am strong enough to give at least a bit of support to the 2 women most important in my life. i have to be.

Tears are forming in your eyes
A storm is warning in the sky

The end of the world it seems
You bend down and you fall on your knees
Well get back on your feet yeah

Don't look away
Don't run away
Hey baby it's only life
Don't lose your faith
Don't run away
Hey baby its only life
Yea it's only life

You were always playing hard
Never could let down your guard

But you can't win
If you never give in
To that voice within
Saying pick up your chin
Baby let go of it

Take your hesitance
And your self-defense
Leave them behind, it's only life
Don't be so afraid
Of facing everyday
Just take your time, it's only life
I'll be your stepping-stone
No, don't be so alone
Just hold on tight, it's only life

2009-05-25T01:47:00.003+08:00

GUARANTEED FUN

you know sometimes you laugh so hard that you feel like an asthma attack coming and your jaw giving way? i think that's one of the best feelings in the world. and when you hangout with certain people you will be assured that you will be flooded with this emotion throughout the night. and it is bloody awesome. everyone i met this week had one way or another, inevitably made me feel like that. i love it. i love all my friends. :)

2009-05-23T09:40:00.002+08:00

should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements.
even if it leads nowhere.
or would it be a waste, even if i knew my place,
should i leave it there.

2009-05-21T18:46:00.004+08:00

woke up after a tedious night with a heavy heart. all is said and done. still no traces of regret creeping inside me; always a good sign. but the ball is not in my court anymore. well, it never was, was it?

because you are fascinating, you always were, and you'll always be.

2009-05-17T19:05:00.004+08:00

i loved it! the twist at the end is made out of brilliance. still much prefer tom hanks to act than to produce, simply because i get to watch. but it's not like he gets to show off his acting chops a lot, it is a thriller afterall. also am glad there wasn't the cliche hero-hooks-up-with-heroine kind of thing. though vittoria is damn hawt.

mmmm tight black outfit. mmmmmmmm.

2009-05-15T17:16:00.001+08:00

AHAHAHAHAH SELF EXPLANATORY AWESOMENESS.

also i just sent in an application for a job. it is 'the' job i tell you. fingers crossed i get it!

2009-05-15T03:33:00.001+08:00

i want to dance again. or get the leica camera. except that motherfucker costs around 1G. fuck this shit.

so i want to dance again.

2009-05-14T10:09:00.000+08:00

you're the best. :)

2009-05-13T04:52:00.002+08:00

"Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless experience proves you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor *is* naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza."

2009-05-12T18:25:00.002+08:00

Y, don't know how you're feeling now but stay strong alright? the gang is here to support you. :)

J, welcome back and don't think of T too much lah!

X, let it all out babe, let it all out.

2009-05-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

2009-05-09T05:00:00.004+08:00

time: 5 AM exactly.
weather: thunderstorm.

i was just standing by the window, taking a drag out of my cigarette when it started to rain. the dry, hard concrete ground became wet and sparkling in a matter of minutes. it was quite amazing actually; you could see the raindrops falling onto it initially, like irregular polka dots on a piece of wrapping paper. but after a while, the whole piece in my sight was painted a darker grey. the occasional lightning felt like camera flashlights trying to capture that particular moment.

the driver who just gulided his car into the parking lot at the corner might have thought the rain was a nuisance. but did he see what just happened? that lifeless floor was already covered with a layer of rainwater at that time, and raindrops just kept falling on it. it was like the floor was dancing to a beat! the floor was so lively!

it was enlightening. brings you to the old cliche of that's what life is about isn't it? see how pleasant a thunderstorm can be; discover the ups among the downs.

to think that was a "feeling down" kind of cigarette break i took.

life is ironic.

life is also beautiful. :)

2009-05-06T15:02:00.006+08:00

MY DAUGHTER

if i happen to have one, i will name her Daria. After these Darias:

Daria Werbory

Daria Morgandoffer

omg she's gonna be the Queen Bee. :') she will have impressive side boobs and walk for chanel but at the same time a realist who's painfully witty and a realist with BRAIN. i'm proud of her already.

also my closet is quite fetch. albeit a little messy.

how cute is the giant hanger? it's only 2 dollars! :)

2009-05-04T05:43:00.005+08:00

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我

我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我

关于你的一切我都
好好收藏着

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天能感觉到我

就算我在你世界,渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热

are you even aware of that?

2009-04-27T23:23:00.011+08:00

Perfect Picnic

it is virtually impossible for the picnic to get even better. what more can a boy ask for? the company of 2 amazing amazing bbys, good food/wine, fine weather, endless laughter and defining moments. :)

light up, light up. as if you have a choice.

even if you cannot hear my voice.

i'll be right beside you dears.

chips and soda arent exactly our "thing". smoked meats and wine much preferred.

that very day in july might just be one of the hardest i've ever had in my life.

but the trinity won't be broken. all about you forever.

2009-04-25T00:14:00.003+08:00

24th april. another day in my life. wanna hear about it? no im not asking you. anyway i...

...woke up at 6 in the morning i think. it's not very fancy you know because there's just nothing to do at such an early hour. and was still too restless for anything physical so watched kang xi and wonder bakery and 30 rock on my com and fb all the way till 9...

...when i decided to go run! it was all fine, had been running for 3 days straight so was getting the hang of it like a regular runner. was about to turn into the christian cemetery when i saw then cat like figure. took a closer look and it turned out to be this HUGE ASS LIZARD LIKE MONSTER, LIKE AN IGUANA OR SOME SHIT. seriously im too traumatized to even google that freak. IT WAS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BABY DINOSAUR I WANTED TO BARF ALL OVER MYSELF ALL REPTILES SHOULD BE SHIPPED TO A SMALL COUNTRY AND ISOLATED WITHOUT FOOD AND WATER AND DIE and then it crawled into the drain, away from my sight, thankfully...

...so i took a different route and turned into potong pasir park connector. do you know that road turn leads to bishan park? why the fuck does it have to be so long. anyway i was 2km away from bishan when i decided it was ridic and made a u-turn. i hate making u-turns when i run. pet peeve...

...and i went home and found mummy still sleeping like a dog. woke her up and we went to have lunch before she left for work...

...after that did not want to let the blazing sun and my tanning oil go to waste so decided to go tan. like running, had been tanning for 3 days straight so was feeling all smug like a bronze coloured sex god/regular tanner and not sunburnt so decided to tan longer than usual. and i realized at the end of it that one way to get a sunburn is to think you wont get it and you will get it. motherfucking lesson learnt. im v red now like a cooked lobster. also i have a pic.

i look so big. also the spots are not part of my skin fortunately. they're water droplets...

...anyway after that came home to do laundry and had medicine (for teeth, another story) and went for a haircut. very short now. short hair plus black skin. this combination is making me look really aggressive and somewhat irresistible i think. kidding la!!!! (not)...

...so came home to yevon's macaroni. with the weirdest soup i've tasted. that pot should be a salad dressing. and went to bed shortly after...

...and waken up by eileen jie asking where zirca is. HELLO?????...

...decided to check fb and is currently more awake than ever from all the "ENLISTING ON..." status updates. when's mine? WHEN????...

2009-04-20T09:20:00.002+08:00

received this sms from yvonne babe last night:

"Donno true or not la but now got one new scam got indian will block you while you're walking on the road den if you talk to him he will hypnotize you and make you give him your money. Ridiculous as it sounds but what ever la just know can le k... :) lolz

and this morning i got approached by 2 INDIANS asking for directions when i was on my way to the dentist. FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME OMG. i had to keep feeling whether my wallet was still in my pocket. wtf. this is not funny, god, or whoever that made this coincidence happen.

anyway nothing much to update about except have been spending at a monstrous rate. going out 5 times a week (drunk twice) is definitely a little too overboard. hell i was actually at home more when still schooling. so TONE THE FUCK DOWN PLEASE ALVIN. YOU ARE BROKE AND NOT AS ENERGETIC AS WHEN YOU'RE 16 FOR GOD'S SAKE.

but boredom resulting from being too homely drove me to do lame things like:

and http://www.piterwilson-toys.com/wcsmt2/player/33725/ (this is really good just so you know)

was recommending this to the equally bored jazwheel when decided to do a bunch myself.

k la i need a job pronto. :(

2009-04-16T10:30:00.002+08:00

saturday - yj's birthday
sunday - zirca
monday - cck for 扫墓. vvv good supper at night with mum
tuesday - tong's birthday
wednesday - poker face at ww's

yay i love how busy my life is! i need a job though.

2009-04-10T02:37:00.005+08:00

SEA GINA

THE TRINITY

SIBLINGS

good things come in threes. :) (of course there are so much more awesome friends out there but the theme here is 3! ><)

reminder to self: blog about chalet, kl and the most awesome picnic in the whole world.

2009-03-25T20:37:00.006+08:00

GOOD LOOKING COUPLE

now that's one.

the trip was pretty awesome. met lots of relative, even my great-grand-aunt. how cool is that? also my cantonese improved tremendously. sweet!

proper update soon!

2009-03-20T05:19:00.004+08:00

IM SO EXCITED WOOHOO!!!!!

I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU! SMOKING WITH MUMMY, JAZWHEEL'S BIRTHDAY WITH JENJEN, EMOZ WITH TONGTONG, GOSSIPING (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! DAO HUAY PEOPLE).

5 days only though! :p

(also kristin got me quite excited about uni of chicago. and thanks for lending me the camera babe!)

ALSO:

2009-03-18T03:52:00.006+08:00

WOAH the writing style consisting of bad grammar, elementary school phrasing, and BOMBASTIC thesaurus words needs to die. its not even entertaining anymore. it just highlights the pretentiousness and how annoying the writers are.

not making a new post for this but yevon, my grandma and i have decided to carry matching bags for the wedding dinner! cool or whatz.

also, an once-in-a-lifetime moment

yevon: 早上去他们家应该穿什么? shows 2 dresses: a summery and a dull greenish one
grandma: 那件花花的裙子.
me: 可是她讲很肥.
grandma: 好看就好, 新加坡进去的不要丢脸.
yevon: 你ahboy上身啊??
grandma: ahboy教的.
me (ahboy): :')

and why am i packing so much for a 4, 5 day trip? this is ridic.

2009-03-15T19:45:00.003+08:00

things to do before enlistment:

1. play final fantasy 8 and 10.
2. finish reading life of pi and the kite runner. (please la alvin only 2, don't tell me you're that illiterate)
3. learn more about my own religion.
4. keep the flat clean. especially my room.
5. earn some money.
6. just dance. (dadadodo)

that's all for now actually. quite a humble list if you ask me. also found out that the malaysian uncle's wedding dinner is going to be at KL's renaissance. hell yeah!

1b05 chalet and WAG outings update soon!

2009-03-12T00:12:00.001+08:00

hands down the craziest bitch i've seen in my life. you're my rock woman! stay awesome mummy!

2009-03-11T18:57:00.000+08:00

2009-03-10T23:40:00.006+08:00

WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED IN YOUR LIFE?

Heard jazwheel talking about this awhile ago. Sounds eerily familiar to a commercial tagline but thats not the point.

This thing has never came to my mind until recently. The combination of boredom and climate of uncertainty probably triggered it. Conversations nowadays cant help but revolve around current plans and future paths. every other day you hear about your peers going aboard or enrolling into certain schools. You applaud them for their decisiveness and wish them nothing but the best for their endeavors. But deep down, that tingling feeling that you've been trying to ignore creeps up like Rorschach in a dark room.

"What are you going to do with your life? What have you accomplished?"

You try to shake it off. But every time as it gets pushes to the back of your brain it leaves an ugly trait of blood. Subsequently, it gets stronger and stronger, you fight it harder and harder. But your willpower and stamina can't take it anymore, you raise your white flag and let it overwhelm you.

You try to settle your nerves by looking back at the 19, close to 20 years of your life. What is in that kaleidoscope you see? Colourful beads, sparkles, pieces of glass, sequins even! It is undeniably pretty and surprises the observer every single time. But hey, why does the tube only contains tiny objects, where are the large, shiny, enthralling stones?

You stare even harder, you even shake the toy and look some more. But nope. Not even one in sight.

That's probably the best metaphor to describe my life right now. I've been through quite a bit, saw the ugly and the beautiful sides of human nature, surrounded by the best company and the worst, exposed myself to the innocent and the havoc, did myself proud and shame. But none a substantial, life altering thing.

Maybe it's time to start making a difference! I know this might come off as conceited but I believe there's more to life and i want to experience them, reach greater heights, and have more influence.

How to go about exploring these potentials is still a massive neon flashing question mark to me. I'm sure lots of people out there are experiencing this phase and can't wait to get out of it. But one thing i'm certain is that i will forever be grateful for everyone who has made an impact in my life. I had the fortune of meeting the greatest people on earth and had never been failed by anyone that i fully depend on. And i intend to keep it that way.

So for now i'm still flirting around with my options i guess. Thank god for NS though. Hopefully 2 years will be enough to sort out my thoughts and embark on a journey exhilarating and inspiring. And of course, something I can proudly call "accomplishment".

rambled so much! sorry for weak engrish, dont act yi ge please alvin. shut up you handsome beast. no you shut up sexy devil. *makes out with self*

also: 3B06 chalet! look at the shiny happy people

note to self: drink less + smoke less = whore less

2009-03-10T00:10:00.003+08:00

movies i need to watch/rewatch/download at the cinemas/on rented dvd.

(actually just another reason for a mosaic. i'm addicted i think)

1. Confessions of a shopaholic - MUST! the chick in me needs this chick flick!
2. Wall-e - havent seen this before. loser much?
3. Dark knight - rewatching this to compare which is better: this or watchmen
4. Darjeeling limited - the marc jacobs luggages. haha! not so shallow laaaa. seems like a darker little miss sunshine. which i liked. so have to see this!
5. Nanny mcphee - heard about this from diana, never got to watch. plus there's emma thompson in it so i guess it won't disappoint.
6. White chicks - for the 304548th time i think. i think i can memorize the lines already.
7. The royal tenenbuams - gives me the arrested development vibe for some reason.
8. Spirited away - the parts where sen cries get me. every. single. time. plus i need to watch the animated xiao qian too!
9. Sin city - motherfucking badass. though i think will be less amazing compared watching in cinema. but still! furthermore i dont really remember the plot. so... amazing cast here i come!

2009-03-09T03:29:00.002+08:00

you know how to make an already awesome movie even more fantastic? watch it with your bbys!!!!!

fucking good la. i can't stop listening to 99 luft balons now. haters to the left.

i want to watch departures though. or last chance harvey. but donno raine wants or not. we shall see tomorrow! :)

2009-03-07T15:33:00.003+08:00

I THINK I DIED IN AN ACCIDENT.

BECAUSE THIS MUST BE HEAVEN

gorgeous people mosaic
top row: afghan "green eyed girl", bradley cooper, bjork, GQ spread lady, gisele bundchen, young jamal from slumdog millionaire
second: megan mullally x meryl streep, gisele x buttcheeks, stephen sprouse party model, taylor swift, sandra bullock, jessica stam
third: namie amuro, M.I.A x baby, masha tylena, drew barrymore x jennifer connelly x jennifer anistion x gennifer goodwin x scarlett johansson, kate moss x baby x marc jacobs x ciggs, brandon flowers
fourth: christina applegate x ellen degeneres, tina fey, zac posen model, parisian kids, nastia liukin, dakota fanning
fifth: baguette from sufu, quistis troupe from ff8, terry richardson photo, joanna woodward x paul newman, tgif nun, first row mum x daughter
last row: heath ledger x michelle x matilda (no vis), adrien brody x colin farrell, indian kid doing namaste, gemma ward, carmen electra, god in grey suit and purple accessories

so many angmohs! shame on you alvin!

for having such good taste.

2009-03-07T14:53:00.004+08:00

DIRECTIONS:
- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- Save/post the image

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

alvin, eggs benedict, singapore
red, devil wears prada, vodka ribena
new york, souffle, inconsistent
troubled, creativity, media man

2009-03-02T03:36:00.002+08:00

30 rock, arrested development, the sopranos, weeds, big love, curb your enthusiasm.

SO MUCH GOOD TV.

AND SO MUCH TIME.

WAHAHHA I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

2009-02-26T19:57:00.002+08:00

25th February shall go down in history as one of the most amazing day in my life. it is also really productive actually, lets see:

1. went hdb and paid this month's mortgage
2. started drinking vodka lemonade in the afternoon, just because i can.
3. drunk texts, drunk msn conversations, drunk phone calls.
4. dinner at orchard with gracie.
5. chill out with jazjaz jenjen and weiwei at siglap.
6. then to jenjen's place with jazjaz!

though, being high for 8 hours straight gave me the worst hangover i've ever had in my life. but still, its reallllly fun to be a modern hippie and thank god hung out with people cool enough for me to be candid and blurt out nonsense without having to filter anything. love you people!

2009-02-25T15:39:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHA HOW INCREDIBLY INSULTING.

thanks for making me feel like the BIGGEST idiot on earth!

now im going to check off "get drunk in the day" in my after-exams-to-do-list. mmmmm cant wait.

2009-02-24T23:08:00.002+08:00

how fascinating that my feelings right now can be summed up so accurately in the first verse of colbie's the little things.

The little things you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show you
That everything inside of me you are,
Like a nervous heart beat, is crazy beating
I'm feeling stuck here, against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by

*le sigh*

2009-02-23T23:38:00.006+08:00

slumdog millionaire won SO MANY AWARDS it's crazy. quite disappointed that meryl streep lost for the... i donno.. 15th time? still, the greatest living actress is unshakable.

on the other hand, bought something to commemorate the final paper in poly, keeping fingers tightly crossed that there won't be a sup paper waiting for me.

awesome no?

funky? check
very "alvin"? check
non-white? check
size 10? check
60% off? check check check check check.

i feel like rebecca bloomwood in shopaholics when she found the gucci boots, expect i didnt have to wrestle anyone for it. and it's quite amazing that haji lane has deals like this. awesome!

2009-02-23T03:39:00.006+08:00

i'm going to get more of these.

which apparently takes amazing photos like:

to document my life from graduation till ns. i'm going to take pictures of 你你你你你你你你你!!!! :)

they can't touch me, i break out so fast run so fast they cant even catch me.

2009-02-20T02:58:00.002+08:00

i swear to god this will be the last time i touch accounting and other somewhat related modules. GTFO OF MY LIFE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

JAI HO!

edit: omg 3 more hours im so nervous.

2009-02-19T05:28:00.002+08:00

"your assignments are huge. i hope you know how to drive. for now you will be working on 2 projects and they are going to clash so be prepared. you will be traveling to big cities. i will need you to be at perth and berlin."

best dream ever! everyone looked really fashion-y too.

2009-02-16T11:07:00.002+08:00

my mum opening a food stall in geylang is like a kid in disneyland. seriously her enthusiasm and excitement about that environment is so adorably hilarious. like this morning, she went "someone fought again, every night! chinaman i think." and she feels really empowered by being a female stall owner in the red light district.

also ive been thinking about malaysia trip. whole family is going in somewhere in march for a weekend to attend uncle's wedding. was thinking of staying a week longer since the lodging is free (relative's house). but the thing is will be alone (which is good since have been wanting to travel alone) and it's not like ~the city~ is new york or something. it's just KL and probably won't be that interesting.

but still quite far. my priority now is to clear my modules and not have 4.1. wish me luck pleazzz.

2009-02-14T08:10:00.002+08:00

Love comes from very surprising sources.

it's vday! be it unrequited love being celebrated or old wounds being ripped apart , remember that love, actually is all around. so embrace it! :)

2009-02-12T01:10:00.025+08:00

The Perfect Day

one day, when the weather is good, air is crisp and grass is green,

i'm going to lay this on an empty, serene field.

on top of it will stand this. matching, of course.

in which will contain, obviously, bottles of my vice,

baguette,

smoked salmon, goat cheese and greens,

all kinds of smoked meat,

sharp cheese,

champagne grapes,

and other colourful fruits, purely for decorative purposes.

what's an outing without a good outfit? i will start off with a straw fedora,

a soft, white cotton shirt,

khaki shorts,

espadrilles slip ons,

and funky shades.

all these while finishing the book that has been lying around for a while,

and listening to these albums on loop. joanna wang,

natasha b.

and sara b.

howboutchu? :)

2009-02-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

i know people out there are going to say im making a mountain out of a molehill and stop being a pussy but you see, having to do a more in-depth heart scan isn't something like a bruise or spraining your ankle. i mean, i do hope it's just a misjudgment but there's always a possibility of you know, a disorder to put it nicely. so what do i do now? cope with it by turning it into a dark joke, laugh it off and secretly hoping for the best. so... wish me luck i guess.

and dont anyone dare come to me in that fucktard snobby face and condescending tone telling me things like "good what, can slack. isnt that what you want?". you are not in the position to judge me.

2009-02-09T19:26:00.003+08:00

According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery, if you have 4 or more of the following money habits, you have a problem with shopping or spending:

* Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.
* Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in one’s life.
* Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.
* Feeling lost without credit cards.
* Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.
* Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.
* Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.
* Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.
* Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.
* Thinking excessively about money.
* Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending.

omg i have 7! i remembered just yesterday went orchard with jenjen and bought this topman shirt. felt damn excited about it when paying then regretted a little cause it was not on sale (69.90) so dumped the whole thing into my bag. then when i got home i wanted to show my cousin how nice it was but 5 seconds before the reveal it occurred to me that it's a little too policeman uniform (navy blue short sleeve shirt). but then i got excited again after trying it on with khakis. then my mum saw it and asked me how much it was and i told her 49.90. but she found out anyway. annoying.

brb checking into rehab. who mumbles so much about things like that. i have issues. :*(

2009-02-05T05:19:00.016+08:00

pre-cny, cny, post-cny. regret not taking more pictures! :(

christmas 2008 update soon! (so outdated)

2009-02-04T19:07:00.003+08:00

i really want to explore the hills (as in beverly) or the city (as in big apple) before i get trapped in NS. but i've never gotten enough money or the courage (i want to go alone!) to do so. how? i'm becoming the person who talks big all the time but does nothing of it. always 讲讲而已。

hello act yi ge. so act that can't hold back giggles.

cny update soon!

2009-01-29T15:04:00.004+08:00

2009-01-18T00:59:00.002+08:00

marry me.

stayed up till like 5am to study for legal. but FOR WHAT. end up didn't go also. hope the retest won't be too difficult. but of course everyone will say it is, just for the sake of it i suppose.

love weekends!

love lunar new year!

2009-01-16T00:26:00.004+08:00

DON'T LEH MY LITTLE COILLAT
love you like russians love vodka larzzZzz

but i still stand by my point that olivia is awesome. she stays in tribeca and uses hermes serving tray! who uses hermes serving tray?!?! olivia. and probably me in the future. :D:D:D

2009-01-13T01:22:00.003+08:00

2009-01-10T21:11:00.003+08:00

I LOVE lunar new year with a passion. I can buy anything without being nagged at after telling the naggers "it's for new year!"

but was actually feeling quite guilty after spending so obscenely just on myself and ended up getting the fann wong ~abalone~ for reunion dinner. which am not exactly looking forward to. after all it's the first day of new year that calls for dressing up and sets the financial tone for the rest of the year.

$_$